This is an interview between a Saudi man and a British consul
...Saudi Vs. Consul
Consul: 'your name please?'
Saudi: 'Sheikh Abdul-Aziz'
Consul: 'Sex?'
Saudi: 'nine times a week'
Consul: 'I meant male or female?'
Saudi : 'Both male and female, sometimes even camels.'
Consul: 'Holy cow'
Saudi: 'Yes, cows & dogs too'
Consul: 'Man, isn't that hostile?'
Saudi: 'Horse style, dog style, any style!'
Consul: 'Oh dear!'
Saudi: 'No deer, they run too fast...!!'
Liar
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom!"
Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant
Panic is when both are pregnant!!!
Chinese Adam & Eve:
If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise
because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the SNAKE
Laugh small:
1) Three pastors were discussing: One said his problem is stealing, he cannot stop stealing from the church's money and if his church members find out, it would be disastrous.
The second pastor said his own problem is adultery. He had slept with almost every woman in the church both married and unmarrie. His church members must not find out. The third pastor said his problem is that he cannot do without gossiping, and everybody must know what he just found out.
He then excused himself and immediately the other two pastors fainted.
Surprise Visit
To surprise her husband, an executive's wife decided to stop by his office. On entering the office, she saw the secretary on her husband's laps.
In order to defend himself the husband said "budget cut or no budget cut, management must do something. I and my secretary cannot be sharing this office with just a single seat...!
Anger
Dad asked his son: "Whenever I beat you how do you stop your anger?
Son replies: "I start cleaning the toilet"
Dad asked: "How does that help you?"
Son: "I clean it with your tooth brush"
Guy's Talk
4) Three guys were gisting at a beer parlour. The first guy said "when my wife was pregnant she was reading a book; a tale of two cities and she gave birth to twins"
The second said his wife was reading the three musketeers and she gave birth to triplets.
The third guy dropped his beer bottle and started running home. Concerned, his friends gave chase.
When they got to his house they saw him burning a book, and they asked why.
He said his wife was reading Ali Baba and the forty thieves and she is pregnant? Not in this house... It cannot happen!
