Ayo Busari grew up being loved by everyone, family, friends, class mates, etc, he was both very good looking as well as intelligent, and these always make people give him special attention, gifts, and favours even when he never asked for them.
But one striking quality in Ayo was his humbleness and respect for people. He mixes freely with both adults and his mates, from his primary school days to higher institution, he was never out of company or friends or lacked admirers; people just want to be his friend. But all these changed one day when he was framed or falsely accused of doing something that tarnished his image among friends and family.
What can be more painful in life in the hours when you need people to believe in you and they do just the opposite? How does it feel to be misunderstood, slandered, or falsely accused? What do you do in such times?
Ayo Busari says his experience taught him an unforgettable lesson in life, never to trust anyone but you. “I thought I had perfect friends, I mean close pals that I could do anything for, I never knew some of them had reservations for me and never told me about how they felt. I was betrayed by my best friend, Mike and cousin. Its was just unimaginable, it was like I was dreaming, because everyone in my family knew Mike, and when my closest cousin accused me of something as terrible as rape, and Mike corroborated the story, I was not believed for the first time in my life, and I felt like dying.”
False accusations, betrayals, or even something as little as gossip, can destroy lives, especially if the accused is innocent. To be a target of vicious lies can ruin lives and reputation.
“I was devastated, and two of them stuck to their guns, and I was innocent, it’s as if they were possessed with something! My mother cried for days and my dad refused to acknowledge my presence, I was seen as a taboo and the most painful of all was that my girlfriend and dearest friends deserted me. I was alone, it was my words against theirs, it was a painful experience I will never forget in my life, but I was vindicated at last when my cousin opened up, and at that time things had degenerated to a stage that my mother was hospitalised over the issue, I think that was what got to my cousin, she confessed to my father and later travelled abroad due to the shame of it all. That was when I found out that all the pain and embarrassment was all caused by envy, my friend, Mike and my cousin were both envious of me, for how long, I never knew.”
Omo Sanni also had a similar experience as a teenager. “I was about 14 years old when it happened. I can never forget the feeling of helplessness and agony of being falsely accused. I hear it all the time and see it on movies on television but never assume it will happen to me, but it did.
“I was in my mother’s shop one day (she sells provision; food stuff, soft drinks, and my elder sister and I usually sell for her when she’s not available. On this particular Saturday afternoon, I sat there with my elder sister just gisting away when my mum came back. Suddenly, there was commotion at the next shop located beside my mother’s. The woman started shouting at the top of her voice that her money has been stolen from where she kept it in the morning.
“We were all concerned and all trooped into the shop to help her search for the missing money including the tree other young girls she left to over see the shop in her absence. The girls denied taking the money, the owner searched, threatened and cursed whoever took the money, but the money did not come out.
“About three hours later, my sister and I left for home, leaving only my mum behind. So we were very surprised some minutes after we got home that my mum and the woman in company of her three apprentices, came into the house. And to everyone’s dismay openly declared that it was me that stole the money. At first it was as if I was dreaming, but my mother’s voice brought me back to reality when she asked me in a disbelieving voice if I was the one that took the money. I wanted to cry, shout and faint at the same time, but my elder sister spoke up for me, she pointed out clearly that I was with her the whole time and never even entered the woman’s shop, not to talk of taking her money at all, and what were her girls doing at this time of robbery? Nobody answered, and I started to protest, finding confidence in my sister’s support. But to my utmost surprise, the woman said she was not convinced and brought out a Bible, which she proudly said would reveal the culprit after she’s done.
“She tied the Bible from end to end, inserted a key into it and told two people to hold the key from its angles, so only two fingers held the key as the Bible was held in space. It was as if we were all in a trance, she started calling everybody’s name present at the shop that day, her girls, my sister, everybody, and the key did not turn, immediately she mentioned my name, the bible turned! I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life!
“I looked at my sister and her mouth was agape, wide open in amazement, then I started to cry because I knew nothing can save me from that single action. But I knew till date that I didn’t take that money and only my elder sister believed me because even when my mother was beating me that evening she was crying and shouting for all to hear that I was not the one that took the money, she was there the whole time and I can’t ever forget being humiliated and branded a thief when I never stole anything.
“We never found out who took the money to this day, but I knew it was not me, it was the most embarrassing day of my life.”
Life is full of riddles, some unexplainable, others one can dismiss with the wave of the hand, but whatever life offers, Tony Madueke, doctor, says one has to accept that there is no way such experiences can be erased immediately.
“Such events can cause trauma, psychiatrist disorder or low self esteem that can be self destructive as one grows. In the midst of unfair and untrue accusations, you need to get real, and be willing to forgive and forget in future. Understand that people might come forward to admit they were wrong or might not. It is up to you to put this behind you. So, give yourself what you wish you could receive from others, forgive them and say openly to yourself ‘I know I didn’t do it,’ and never seclude or hate yourself or react quickly to what you think people are saying about you. Don’t be intimidated, feel guilty or shrink away because of what people think or put yourself in a prison.
“Most importantly, never fall into the trap of acting out with non-directional frustration at people that love you or care, because the stress that comes with being wrongly accused can lead a person to lash out at those closest to them. Remember that the enemy isn’t your loved ones, but an outside force.”
Monday, October 19, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Quest for independence or excuse for loneliness?
A solitary lifestyle may fulfill the yearnings for independence nursed by many, but it nonetheless holds a host of negative implications worth knowing, writes YEMISI NNAMDI-MANUEL
By all accounts, the 21st century is defined by congestion and so much fuss, so it is no surprise that solitary living is embraced by many, especially the youths. Nowadays, many youngsters in their 20s prefer living alone, at least before they settle down to start families of their own.
But the trend is not limited to the young, because observers say there is an increase in the percentage of people living alone globally, as separated or divorced couples and singles. This raises a poser: is there something so attractive about living alone, or is it just an excuse for introverts without the company of family and friends to lead what can only be termed a lonely lifestyle? Most importantly, does this way of life have negative health implications?
Ogbolu Emeka, a professional psychiatrist, says those who embrace a reclusive lifestyle without the company of family and friends are susceptible to many things, most of which are negative. “If one does not think such people exist, check the annual list of suicides. How many people, tragically and sadly, take their own lives each year, because they are lonely? How many others turn to alcohol and drugs to fill the void in their lives in an attempt to drown the pain of their isolation? How many others still try to remove the pain, loneliness and hurt by engaging in endless sexual encounters with other people in an empty pursuit to fill this emptiness, placing their lives and well-being, including those of others at risk by so doing? There are many people living in loneliness; some hide it better than others. But they exist in larger numbers than most people realise,” argues Emeka.
This reclusive fad, however, does a lot more than affect individuals embracing it, because it has ripple effects on their loved ones. With today’s soaring divorce rates, for instance, the reality that a child would be raised by a single parent –or sometimes in a foster home- is one of the negative spin-offs from this trend.
Modinat Badmus, a divorcee and mother of three, has been separated from her husband for four years. Now in her mid-50s, she lives alone in a two-bedroom apartment at Egbeda, a suburb of Lagos . Her husband has denied her access to her three boys, for which reason her loneliness is more profound.
“I was depressed for the first two years of our separation, and worry about my children and my life every moment. I mean, I live alone and so many people see me as a failure, one that refused to endure assault and battery each day. Anyway, I’m still praying for divine intervention. But I have been able to cope with my solitary life. It’s a battle, but you either learn to fight and survive or you die. It’s that simple,” she says with finality.
Tolu Oladeji, a marketer, says she started living alone when she moved to Lagos Island after landing a swell job with a bank. She is quick to admit it’s not been fun and games: “It’s not easy staying alone. I’ve been lonely because no relative or friend is with me. There are times I naturally swing into moods; but I either go out or invite friends over.
“Living alone is not the best anyway because anything can happen at any time, and there won’t be anybody there to help you,” she observes.
Meanwhile, Akande Daniel, a cleric, says a reclusive lifestyle is not so bad, and can even be used positively in most cases. “Times of solitude, isolation, or silence can be used to find God, the essence behind every living energy and soul. You can’t do this if you’re constantly involved in an atmosphere of noise, chatter and other distracting environments. To me, therefore, with this understanding, living alone can be a divine gift if you know how to exploit it to give courage and hope,” he notes.
Femi Anjorin, a pastor and family counsellor, does not agree with Daniel: “I’ll not advise anyone to decide to live alone. At least have somebody close-by - a sister, brother, or even a friend. This is because I’ve seen and heard of cases of deaths or accidents in the middle of the night, where neighbours did not try to come out to help because they were afraid!”
He has a tragic experience to share: “A brother I knew died like that. He lived alone and only God knew what happened during the night, but he was found dead at dawn by his friend who usually drove him to work by 5:30 am everyday.”
Emeka once again asserts that life itself is a battle and one should not create unnecessary stress with a solitary lifestyle, because if such is the case, fear of the unknown and loneliness will be inevitable.
“Living alone is traumatic for a lot of people who do not have emotional problems, because in truth, no man is an island. Life’s problems could make someone change overnight, and it is the duty of those around the person to seek help and provide necessary support,” he advises.
So what do experts say loners should do to either get out of the woods or cope with their plight? Hear them: “Be of good courage, because you’re definitely not alone. Use that opportunity to get personally stronger. Redirect inner energy and focus in life towards greater advancement.
“Secondly, be happy with who you are. Value your isolation, because in truth, we’re all born alone. Make the best use of your status right now by getting a hobby. Do something you love, that will make you feel fulfilled. Moreover, render help to others because by so doing, you indirectly help yourself.
“Read more, exploit your potentials. Spread your wings and fly. Find small joys each day, making it a point to build a whole life, to make the difference between happily living alone and being lonely.”
By all accounts, the 21st century is defined by congestion and so much fuss, so it is no surprise that solitary living is embraced by many, especially the youths. Nowadays, many youngsters in their 20s prefer living alone, at least before they settle down to start families of their own.
But the trend is not limited to the young, because observers say there is an increase in the percentage of people living alone globally, as separated or divorced couples and singles. This raises a poser: is there something so attractive about living alone, or is it just an excuse for introverts without the company of family and friends to lead what can only be termed a lonely lifestyle? Most importantly, does this way of life have negative health implications?
Ogbolu Emeka, a professional psychiatrist, says those who embrace a reclusive lifestyle without the company of family and friends are susceptible to many things, most of which are negative. “If one does not think such people exist, check the annual list of suicides. How many people, tragically and sadly, take their own lives each year, because they are lonely? How many others turn to alcohol and drugs to fill the void in their lives in an attempt to drown the pain of their isolation? How many others still try to remove the pain, loneliness and hurt by engaging in endless sexual encounters with other people in an empty pursuit to fill this emptiness, placing their lives and well-being, including those of others at risk by so doing? There are many people living in loneliness; some hide it better than others. But they exist in larger numbers than most people realise,” argues Emeka.
This reclusive fad, however, does a lot more than affect individuals embracing it, because it has ripple effects on their loved ones. With today’s soaring divorce rates, for instance, the reality that a child would be raised by a single parent –or sometimes in a foster home- is one of the negative spin-offs from this trend.
Modinat Badmus, a divorcee and mother of three, has been separated from her husband for four years. Now in her mid-50s, she lives alone in a two-bedroom apartment at Egbeda, a suburb of Lagos . Her husband has denied her access to her three boys, for which reason her loneliness is more profound.
“I was depressed for the first two years of our separation, and worry about my children and my life every moment. I mean, I live alone and so many people see me as a failure, one that refused to endure assault and battery each day. Anyway, I’m still praying for divine intervention. But I have been able to cope with my solitary life. It’s a battle, but you either learn to fight and survive or you die. It’s that simple,” she says with finality.
Tolu Oladeji, a marketer, says she started living alone when she moved to Lagos Island after landing a swell job with a bank. She is quick to admit it’s not been fun and games: “It’s not easy staying alone. I’ve been lonely because no relative or friend is with me. There are times I naturally swing into moods; but I either go out or invite friends over.
“Living alone is not the best anyway because anything can happen at any time, and there won’t be anybody there to help you,” she observes.
Meanwhile, Akande Daniel, a cleric, says a reclusive lifestyle is not so bad, and can even be used positively in most cases. “Times of solitude, isolation, or silence can be used to find God, the essence behind every living energy and soul. You can’t do this if you’re constantly involved in an atmosphere of noise, chatter and other distracting environments. To me, therefore, with this understanding, living alone can be a divine gift if you know how to exploit it to give courage and hope,” he notes.
Femi Anjorin, a pastor and family counsellor, does not agree with Daniel: “I’ll not advise anyone to decide to live alone. At least have somebody close-by - a sister, brother, or even a friend. This is because I’ve seen and heard of cases of deaths or accidents in the middle of the night, where neighbours did not try to come out to help because they were afraid!”
He has a tragic experience to share: “A brother I knew died like that. He lived alone and only God knew what happened during the night, but he was found dead at dawn by his friend who usually drove him to work by 5:30 am everyday.”
Emeka once again asserts that life itself is a battle and one should not create unnecessary stress with a solitary lifestyle, because if such is the case, fear of the unknown and loneliness will be inevitable.
“Living alone is traumatic for a lot of people who do not have emotional problems, because in truth, no man is an island. Life’s problems could make someone change overnight, and it is the duty of those around the person to seek help and provide necessary support,” he advises.
So what do experts say loners should do to either get out of the woods or cope with their plight? Hear them: “Be of good courage, because you’re definitely not alone. Use that opportunity to get personally stronger. Redirect inner energy and focus in life towards greater advancement.
“Secondly, be happy with who you are. Value your isolation, because in truth, we’re all born alone. Make the best use of your status right now by getting a hobby. Do something you love, that will make you feel fulfilled. Moreover, render help to others because by so doing, you indirectly help yourself.
“Read more, exploit your potentials. Spread your wings and fly. Find small joys each day, making it a point to build a whole life, to make the difference between happily living alone and being lonely.”
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Marriage lessons from parents
Marriage lessons from the older generation
All over the world, the concepts of ‘marriage’ and ‘family’ are held in high esteem. This, however, is no surprise because it is in the family that important lessons such as moral values, house chores, respect, honesty, forgiveness, love, among others, are imparted to children. For this reason, lessons learnt from the family unit should be taken very seriously.
Many parents may not know this, but the quality of their married life leaves an indelible impression on their children. Therefore, many young adults recall what their childhood is like, and fashion their own marriages around this model.
Doris Akande, a family counsellor with a local church, says most children unconsciously do what they see their parents do: “If a man’s parents were happily married, he too will grow to know how two different people can somehow manage to live a life together happily. But if he grew up wondering why his parents couldn’t be happy together, he might either grow into that unconsciously - finding fault with everything his wife does - or personally decide his own marriage will never be the same as his parents’.” She therefore counsels couples to take their day-to-day relationship seriously.
Amanda Phillips, a mother of one, learnt from her parents that marriage takes a lot of work. “When things got bad with my husband, I remembered my parents’ perseverance,” she recalls. “They taught me that marriage is hard work. I then realised that my marriage was going to survive; so my husband and I had to put in a lot more effort.”
Dayo Ogunlana, a businessman, joins Amanda in saying his parents’ marriage affected the way he dealt with parenthood. “My father and mother focused all of their energy on us, the children. So, growing up, we always did things together as a family, and had lots of fond memories of a happy marriage,” he recalls. “When I settled down, I improved on what I learnt from them - to always be there for my children. I included my wife in the whole package, and our home is one of happiness and bliss.”
However, not everybody feels that the relationship shared by parents has any bearing on the quality of their marriage later on in life. Amos Felix, father of two, for instance, observes that marriages are always different. “You just can’t compare your parents’ marriage to yours, because they can’t be the same. I was about 19 years of age when my parents divorced. What prevailed and what I remember most was their arguing and fights. And afterwards, they’d refuse to talk to each other for days, creating a lot of tension and repressed anger in our house as we grew up. So, I was not surprised when they decided to get a divorce after many years of marriage. However, I made up my mind never to let the silent treatment be a part of my marriage.”
But apparently, it is different strokes for different folks, since Abey Ayorinde unconsciously mirrored his parents’ marriage when he was newly married. “I realised just how much I was mirroring their relationship. I identified some traits of my father, such as getting angry easily and shouting a lot at my wife. Then one day, we both sat down and talked. We both knew that we wanted our marriage to be different from our parents’, so we had to get over that communication hurdle to set us on a path of appropriate and positive changes.
“I started talking with a low voice when angry, trying as much as possible not to raise my voice at her. It was hard but I tried and now, it’s over. We are happy because I was able to separate myself from my father’s bad trait.”
Lola Akinola, a businesswoman and mother, however has some words of advice for couples desirous of avoiding a replication of their parents’ mistakes in their own relationships. “What I will say is that partners should be their own friends. I learnt this from my own parents, who always joked about everything. That house did not have any sadness in it, and nobody was allowed to be sad. This taught me that playfulness is a vital part of marriage,” she says.
Peter Adigun, an author, feels the same way: “Both my parents always talked till late into the night when I was a kid. These nightly conversations made me appreciate how important it is to be able to talk to your spouse. They were always kind to each other too. My mother used to tell me that my father was smart, hardworking, and a quick learner. Her example of talking about my dad in a good light carried over into my marriage. My wife and I always compliment each other in front of our children. We don’t try to make our marriage look perfect, but we don’t berate each other either.”
All over the world, the concepts of ‘marriage’ and ‘family’ are held in high esteem. This, however, is no surprise because it is in the family that important lessons such as moral values, house chores, respect, honesty, forgiveness, love, among others, are imparted to children. For this reason, lessons learnt from the family unit should be taken very seriously.
Many parents may not know this, but the quality of their married life leaves an indelible impression on their children. Therefore, many young adults recall what their childhood is like, and fashion their own marriages around this model.
Doris Akande, a family counsellor with a local church, says most children unconsciously do what they see their parents do: “If a man’s parents were happily married, he too will grow to know how two different people can somehow manage to live a life together happily. But if he grew up wondering why his parents couldn’t be happy together, he might either grow into that unconsciously - finding fault with everything his wife does - or personally decide his own marriage will never be the same as his parents’.” She therefore counsels couples to take their day-to-day relationship seriously.
Amanda Phillips, a mother of one, learnt from her parents that marriage takes a lot of work. “When things got bad with my husband, I remembered my parents’ perseverance,” she recalls. “They taught me that marriage is hard work. I then realised that my marriage was going to survive; so my husband and I had to put in a lot more effort.”
Dayo Ogunlana, a businessman, joins Amanda in saying his parents’ marriage affected the way he dealt with parenthood. “My father and mother focused all of their energy on us, the children. So, growing up, we always did things together as a family, and had lots of fond memories of a happy marriage,” he recalls. “When I settled down, I improved on what I learnt from them - to always be there for my children. I included my wife in the whole package, and our home is one of happiness and bliss.”
However, not everybody feels that the relationship shared by parents has any bearing on the quality of their marriage later on in life. Amos Felix, father of two, for instance, observes that marriages are always different. “You just can’t compare your parents’ marriage to yours, because they can’t be the same. I was about 19 years of age when my parents divorced. What prevailed and what I remember most was their arguing and fights. And afterwards, they’d refuse to talk to each other for days, creating a lot of tension and repressed anger in our house as we grew up. So, I was not surprised when they decided to get a divorce after many years of marriage. However, I made up my mind never to let the silent treatment be a part of my marriage.”
But apparently, it is different strokes for different folks, since Abey Ayorinde unconsciously mirrored his parents’ marriage when he was newly married. “I realised just how much I was mirroring their relationship. I identified some traits of my father, such as getting angry easily and shouting a lot at my wife. Then one day, we both sat down and talked. We both knew that we wanted our marriage to be different from our parents’, so we had to get over that communication hurdle to set us on a path of appropriate and positive changes.
“I started talking with a low voice when angry, trying as much as possible not to raise my voice at her. It was hard but I tried and now, it’s over. We are happy because I was able to separate myself from my father’s bad trait.”
Lola Akinola, a businesswoman and mother, however has some words of advice for couples desirous of avoiding a replication of their parents’ mistakes in their own relationships. “What I will say is that partners should be their own friends. I learnt this from my own parents, who always joked about everything. That house did not have any sadness in it, and nobody was allowed to be sad. This taught me that playfulness is a vital part of marriage,” she says.
Peter Adigun, an author, feels the same way: “Both my parents always talked till late into the night when I was a kid. These nightly conversations made me appreciate how important it is to be able to talk to your spouse. They were always kind to each other too. My mother used to tell me that my father was smart, hardworking, and a quick learner. Her example of talking about my dad in a good light carried over into my marriage. My wife and I always compliment each other in front of our children. We don’t try to make our marriage look perfect, but we don’t berate each other either.”
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Deriving joy from little things in life
Deriving joy from the little things in life
As varied as individuals and families are, so are those happy moments that they hold dear. What makes one event memorable for one individual may not necessarily be the same for another. For some, that defining moment may be as simple as a smile early in the morning, a hug from a friend, the birth of a baby, a new car, or something as simple as a greeting card.
But as stressful as family and work lives are, especially when the global financial crisis is added to the mix, is it really possible to derive happiness from anything? A cross section of the public in the know tell it like it is.
“Every morning, I give my wife and children hugs before leaving for work. I feel that pure joy each morning and that sets me off for the day. And anytime I feel exhausted, angry, confused, or disturbed, immediately I get home, my youngest son is always the one running through the door to greet me. That immediately lifts my heart. It has been therapeutic for me over the years, my remedy for bad times.”
John Imola, businessman and father of four
“There is lots of fun in town, but I truly derive much pleasure from just being by myself in a sparsely populated countryside, such as my home town in Ondo State . I get to see the natural beauty you can’t capture in town: the mountains, rivers, water falls, and birds singing. All this makes me very happy and fulfilled. You can’t capture such rare moments, they’re simply unforgettable!”
Tony Duke, banker
“I have had many happy moments in my life with my great family; parents, brothers, sisters. Some of them are long gone now (dead), but the moments we shared together will always remain with me forever, ever lingering and bringing smiles to my face when I’m down or unhappy.”
Aisha Dimka, marketer and mother of two
“Anywhere I am - at work, in the car, home - I just love listening to my music. Another one is going for a ride in the car with no destination, seeing old friends, and visiting places with fond memories from my childhood. I value those things highly.”
Anita Amaka, advert practitioner
“Being happy and making others feel happy is the most divine thing on earth. That’s why I really appreciate happiness. I’m most happy when I’m teaching too; every moment for me is cherished. You can’t ever take it back. My students are happy to learn from me, and they tell me the class is always vibrant, like we are in heaven. This gives me much pleasure and fulfilment, and I believe if you make others happy, you are rendering service to God Almighty.”
Paul Emeka, pastor and father of three
“Seeing a set of twins really made my heart swell for joy and I still have that feeling each time I see them. Interestingly, I had them as I was turning 40 years of age, and five years later I’m yet to have another. So that has been the greatest delight in my life so far!”
Bolatito Badmus, housewife
“Simple things as going out sightseeing, window shopping, eating ice cream in the park, playing in the rain and spending time with my family are cherished moments. Those are the things that really matter in life, doing fun things and spending time with the people you love.”
Morenike Amao, student
“Whenever I get into a melancholy mood, I write positive letters to myself in form of poems, and that lifts me completely from such a mood. I spend a good time writing poems about how I feel everyday, moment and hour. Any time I feel low, writing and reading my selected poems becomes my ‘happy moment.’ It has helped me through tough times and makes me more confident about myself and the obstacles in my life.”
Daniel Ofurum, marketer
Taking time to appreciate positive and simple things happening in our daily lives can help boost our overall satisfaction and ability to cope with tough times.
True happiness is as simple as focusing on the small moments and cultivating positive emotions everywhere we go. All it takes is the decision to grace every difficulty with a smile!
As varied as individuals and families are, so are those happy moments that they hold dear. What makes one event memorable for one individual may not necessarily be the same for another. For some, that defining moment may be as simple as a smile early in the morning, a hug from a friend, the birth of a baby, a new car, or something as simple as a greeting card.
But as stressful as family and work lives are, especially when the global financial crisis is added to the mix, is it really possible to derive happiness from anything? A cross section of the public in the know tell it like it is.
“Every morning, I give my wife and children hugs before leaving for work. I feel that pure joy each morning and that sets me off for the day. And anytime I feel exhausted, angry, confused, or disturbed, immediately I get home, my youngest son is always the one running through the door to greet me. That immediately lifts my heart. It has been therapeutic for me over the years, my remedy for bad times.”
John Imola, businessman and father of four
“There is lots of fun in town, but I truly derive much pleasure from just being by myself in a sparsely populated countryside, such as my home town in Ondo State . I get to see the natural beauty you can’t capture in town: the mountains, rivers, water falls, and birds singing. All this makes me very happy and fulfilled. You can’t capture such rare moments, they’re simply unforgettable!”
Tony Duke, banker
“I have had many happy moments in my life with my great family; parents, brothers, sisters. Some of them are long gone now (dead), but the moments we shared together will always remain with me forever, ever lingering and bringing smiles to my face when I’m down or unhappy.”
Aisha Dimka, marketer and mother of two
“Anywhere I am - at work, in the car, home - I just love listening to my music. Another one is going for a ride in the car with no destination, seeing old friends, and visiting places with fond memories from my childhood. I value those things highly.”
Anita Amaka, advert practitioner
“Being happy and making others feel happy is the most divine thing on earth. That’s why I really appreciate happiness. I’m most happy when I’m teaching too; every moment for me is cherished. You can’t ever take it back. My students are happy to learn from me, and they tell me the class is always vibrant, like we are in heaven. This gives me much pleasure and fulfilment, and I believe if you make others happy, you are rendering service to God Almighty.”
Paul Emeka, pastor and father of three
“Seeing a set of twins really made my heart swell for joy and I still have that feeling each time I see them. Interestingly, I had them as I was turning 40 years of age, and five years later I’m yet to have another. So that has been the greatest delight in my life so far!”
Bolatito Badmus, housewife
“Simple things as going out sightseeing, window shopping, eating ice cream in the park, playing in the rain and spending time with my family are cherished moments. Those are the things that really matter in life, doing fun things and spending time with the people you love.”
Morenike Amao, student
“Whenever I get into a melancholy mood, I write positive letters to myself in form of poems, and that lifts me completely from such a mood. I spend a good time writing poems about how I feel everyday, moment and hour. Any time I feel low, writing and reading my selected poems becomes my ‘happy moment.’ It has helped me through tough times and makes me more confident about myself and the obstacles in my life.”
Daniel Ofurum, marketer
Taking time to appreciate positive and simple things happening in our daily lives can help boost our overall satisfaction and ability to cope with tough times.
True happiness is as simple as focusing on the small moments and cultivating positive emotions everywhere we go. All it takes is the decision to grace every difficulty with a smile!
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